Nicole vs. Life
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
