loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
