Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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