he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
