Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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