He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
we're so committed to being not committed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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