he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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