if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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