so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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