They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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