be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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