I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize