So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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