if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize