How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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