this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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