I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The adults are the big ones right?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
