I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
