He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
