I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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