Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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