I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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