sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish i was in the wii world.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
