note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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