Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just high enough for therapy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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