We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
