I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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