You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
