Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
