What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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