i would punch a child for taco bell
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
