so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
