He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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