Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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