i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
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I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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