why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i drank out of a bidet.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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