How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
