I wish my penis had an off switch
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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