I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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