1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
