Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize