Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize