but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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