oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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