The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
