so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
