I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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