your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
