just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
