Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
