it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
