smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
