no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
