If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
