My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
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She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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