I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
