i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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