i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
