That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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