Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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